What if the prospective groom came and saw that I was brown and then said he wouldn't marry me? I would have been so embarrassed. Fair and Lovely™ doesn't work for me; nor does any other product in the market. Which is why I created my own fairness product, Colonial Hangover Cream™!
After working for 2 years, 5 months, 3 days and 16 hours, it's finally here! I collaborated with the top (Caucasian and generally light-skinned) scientists in the world to devise this effective product. It is designed to work on the darkest of dark skin and make you as white as a Nazi baby's bottom within weeks.
The secret to Colonial Hangover Cream lies in its top secret ratio of Erasemeface Chloride and Vampy Complexiononis which gives an instant whitening effect. You will see a considerable difference within a day! And our promise is, after just 8 WEEKS, you will be white as paper! What more? Even your features will disappear due to the wonderful and gentle* effects of our active ingredients. Colonial Hangover Cream comes along with a FaceMarker™, which can be used to draw on perfect features. Also, FaceTutorial™ comes absolutely free with the package, teaching you to draw on the features of your choice step by step.
So what are you waiting for? Find that perfect groom! Don't spend one more day in acceptance of your darker skin. Feel like a shining beacon among the regular people! Buy Colonial Hangover Cream™ NOW!!!!**
*subjective term, exercise caution
** Colonial Hangover Cream Pvt. Ltd. is not responsible for the erosion of skin, dissolution of nose cartilage or burning off of eyeballs. Please do a test a patch on your buttocks before commencing use.