Friday, April 9, 2010

A Love Letter To The Electricity Department

It’s like this. The Bangalore City Electricity Department (hereinafter referred to as Those Lousy A$$%$^@# [TLA]) woke up one day and said “#$@! this city! We don’t give a flying fart in space about what the people need or what we’re here to do. Who needs electricity?”

So the result of this wonderful decision is that the entire city doesn’t have any power for most of the day. The areas the high-flyers don’t live in are plagued by perpetual power cuts. They started off by testing it out. They cut the power two times a day for one hour each; once at 10 in the morning and once sometime in the evening. Okay, we grumbled. But we got used to it.

The past 3 days have been nothing short of excruciating. They decided to screw us over once and for all. Here’s the schedule for today:
10:00: Power Cut
11:00: Power Returns
12:00: Power Cut
14:00: Power Returns
15:30: Power Cut
17:00: Power Returns
18:00: Power Cut
18:30: Power Returns
19:30: Power Cut
21:00: Still no power

So I think that they give us power only in order to possibly charge our gadgets at regular intervals and use the same to entertain ourselves when the power is gone. Also, they have failed to realise that due to this very interesting phenomenon called ‘Global Warming’ (which can now be equated to a meme, honestly), it’s so blazing hot that it hurts to move.

Now I can’t quite fathom why this has to happen but rumour has it that the new BJP government refuses to borrow power from the Tamil Nadu and Kerala power grids which Karnataka has been tapping into for a while now. I would research this but my modem isn’t working and when the power returns, I’ll probably have just enough time to upload this before the world goes black again.

The other reason that sounds very feasible to me is that they’re trying to get us in touch with our roots. They want us to remember what it was lie to be our forefathers. Before the invention of electricity. Before electricity dependence. Before bloody televisions and the internet. When all we could do is sit around a fire, scratch our heads and stare at each others’ faces (and then maybe club each other to death due to pure boredom).

But despite these excellent intentions of TLA, I can’t help but to want more time to charge my phone. Reasonable request, yes?

I can’t help but to think that due to this chronic power cut disease that this unsustainable city is spiralling downwards into mutual powerlessness. No pun intended. Think about it, if the power is gone for more than half the day, then we’re paying half the electricity bill we’d be paying otherwise, which means less revenue for the department. Sure, you can say that they’re just “load shedding” and already have enough people consuming power. But the last time I checked, that’s not how the economy works. Supply needs to rise to meet demand, yes?

I guess the only positive that came out of this power situation is the fact that I feel lousy, miserable and angry enough to write this blog post.

I’d like to end with a letter to the electricity department.

Dear Bengaluru City Electricity Department,

Chennagidiya? Oota aitha? Then get off your lazy arses and work on getting this situation sorted out.

As much as we all love a good power cut, this is overkill. It was refreshing in the beginning. I almost enjoyed feeling the anonymous beads of sweat slide down my spine every now and again while sitting in darkness without any gadgets. But after 3 times a day, it becomes a lot less fun. Even the wonderful single-player games I’d invented like “Guess When The Power Will Return”, “Plot Innovative Ways To Murder Electricity Department Reps” and “Count Your Own Toes In The Dark and Check If The Number Matches Up When The Power Returns” have become a lot less entertaining.

If the problem is higher up in the government, I suggest that you collaborate with the Hoysala and stage a coup. Overthrow the Electricity-Demon and restore power to this godforsaken city. Please.

You see, it’s too hot to do any of the following activities:
1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Study
4. Go Out
5. Live
Therefore, all we can do is drink liquids and watch ourselves cook in the heat. Because the development authority around here decided to uproot every tree in sight so we don’t have any hope for a cool breeze either.

So really, as enjoyable as I’ve found your sadistic games of wanting to kill me with a combination of heat, boredom and general aimless misery inflicted due to lack of power, get your act together or I will stab you in the eye… with a knife… with a handle shaped like a banana. You will regret it.

Sharanyaa WillKillForElectricity


  1. lol, well expressed. But the BJP premise is false.
    Theres nothing on evidence to support that. BJP has not started functioning properly yet.

    Regardless of that, the power cuts ARE irritating. Cant use my Aircon properly. :p

  2. Okay,you know what the worst part is, they don't bother...I mean, I think I'd rather join your quest to kill than to wait.... :|

  3. I agress with Pradeeta...they don't care. I mean seriously we elect them, we pay our bills on time and taxes and what they give us back...POWERCUTS!!!

    I will kill something, someone if I will not have my light bulb working the evenings when I go to India this year. Electricity dept., are you reading this???? You and you alone are responsible if people have been murdered cuz of some lady who didnt like the fact that there were powercuts eventhough her mama paid all the bills in time :P

  4. Hilarious!!!! What you missed is going for your bath and finding there is no water in the tap because of power cuts and you have soap in your face :(. This is terrible. I visit Bangalore for 2 days in a week. Man is that enough to send me back to my Hot Chennai with AC and all :)

  5. borrow from the TN grid ???? are oyu serious ??? because i happen to know for a fact that TN faces a shortage of 500 MW this summer not to mention the powercuts we are having every other day and if it is due to the fact that they are lending out electricity then i am going to be SO PISSED :x

  6. seriously funny and kinda depressing at the same time. It's like knowing you are in a concentration camp and then being told about it in excruciating detail. B'lore has become a furnace, time to move to some remote village in Coorg.

  7. Bwahhaahhahahah!
    >Chennagidiya? Oota aitha? Then get off your lazy >arses and work on getting this situation sorted >out.


  8. Hi Sharanyaa
    another masterpiece! look at the +side...this is bringing out the best in you! May BES (Bangalore Electricity Suppy) be blessed!

  9. Hilarious Sharanyaa! The best thing is I feel that you are talking to me in person. Your writing comes out as fluently as that.

    will wait for the next one!