RAPE Is Entertaining, Beta

There's something wrong with any of you who looks at the title of this post and thinks "You GO girl! You're so right!". Because I'm not. But my education system doesn't seem to think so.

Let me explain, before things get ugly. I have mentioned this professor before in this post. He's an absolute thrill to learn from because of his flair for diplomacy, appropriateness and a fine sense of social acceptability. Our class adores him. We don't know how we would get along without him. I have already given him credit for the fact that I'm not dating Salman Khan or indulging in Puppy Love. He guided me and prevented me from making these extremely vital mistakes which I would have made otherwise.

Currently he believes that Criminal Law is all about sex. The truth is, there are quite a few sexual offences but they, in no means, constitute a majority of the Indian Penal Code. He is rather obsessed with Rape and issues concerning the same, which is very discomforting. But seriously, the best statement he has made by far, is "Rape is entertaining!". I will explain the context, though I doubt it's going to redeem that statement anyway.

Awesome McSmartyProf said that all misrepresentations of the law in movies should be banned. A student clarified stating that there was a disclaimer at the beginning of all movies stating that the law and medicine used might be fictitious. He said that a layman wouldn't read that [given, decent point]. Another student said that movies were just entertainment for which he countered "RAPE, is entertainment, beta! Can we allow that one?"

On which planet would any blinking moron find rape entertaining? Or even compare it to movies? I didn't know whether to laugh, be angry, slap him or just write it off as one of his "isms".

So I have finally narrowed down his madness to the following things:

• He is sick, desperate and sexually frustrated
• He is an alien from the planet MaleChauvinistPigoid
• He is Mr.Topsy Turvy who believes that right is wrong and wrong is right
• He needs to attend a highly recommended course called "Keep It In Your Pants"

Other important lessons from the same bloke:

• Men should not be forced to be monogamous because they are polygamous by nature
• Nature has been very unkind to women
• Drunk Malayalis speak Tamil; drunk Delhiites speak English
• Criminal Law causes "The rush in the blood"

I don't want to continue. I rest my case.

Of Mama's Boys and Silly Brains

We all get an education. We have to get an education. I mean, where would we be without an education? Unthinkable! Now, what comes along with that education? They come in many shapes, sizes and colours, they are a breed of their own with strange patterns of socialisation, and nobody knows what they eat. That's right, teachers!

Everyone has quirky teachers who do all kinds of strange thing. It's like back in highschool when every single kid I met claimed that their teacher [usually the one in charge of Physical Training], and nobody else's said one of the following things:

• Stand in a straight circle
• Open the window and let the atmosphere come in
• Boys to the left, girls to the right, rest in the middle
• The school's principal just passed away [instead of passed by]

And such like. These are completely unoriginal and in all probability, one professor said something along those lines about two decades ago and updated versions of the same [trust me, I've heard them in different permutations and combinations], constantly crop up to my utter displeasure.

Fortunately, university life brings with it a putting to rest of those jokes. But unfortunately for me, it also brought with it an extremely awkward, incorrect and misinformed professor. I fear that I might imbibe some of his so called values. He believes that we must get a well rounded education due to which he must give us life lessons rather than teach us the law. "Forget about the law!", is his trademark line. Sounded to me like he'd forgotten it a long time ago and couldn't bother reminding himself in order to teach a class. Here are some of his invaluable teachings.

1. ON MARRIAGE

Our first class with this man began with him telling us that handsome boys were always "mamas boys" and they had only one thing on their minds. Once they marry you, they'd do te deed and never take any more responsibility ever! Pretty girls, on the other hand, had "silly brains". If boys marry them, they'll mother them and make them wish they were never born. Therefore, we should never get married.

One day, I loudly and vehemently agreed with him when he said the following thing: "You know, students; All the ideas I get for your class, I get when I'm in the toilet. Can you believe that thing?". I mean, what did you expect me to do? Obviously, this ended up in a retaliation with him telling me that I would not get married and that was a hypocrit because at 19, I couldn't come up with a reason for getting married. Don't ask! I'm still trying to make the connection.

2. ON LOVE

Our resident love pundit professor told us that we could never be in love. This is because 20 and 21 year olds are only capable of "puppy love" and not commitment. Also, he told us to steer clear of actors and actresses like Salman Khan and Priyanka Chopra because they'd always think they can do better than us and then leave us high and dry. Listen to the man. Don't date famous people.

3. ON LAW

So we're in a law school. Mr. Studly McProfessor here is supposed to teach us law. A student proposed a hypothetical case and asked him about the point of law which could be used. Here was the prompt reply "You see, in the coutroom, it's about the emotion. We have to bring in the emotions to convince the people. The law, you can even forget!"

I mean, are you serious man?

So as you might have all assessed by now, I don't know how I'd be getting on in the world without this professor. He has taught me all the important things in life, which are outside the law, yet extremely vital. If not for him, I would be dating Salman Khan and not thinking of marriage. But thanks to him, I am now married and have made my husband sign a piece of paper certifyng that our love isn't just "puppy love"